A participant in one of my TeamUp Triad Coaching sessions was complaining about how difficult it was for her to visit her in-laws; she thought their house was too dirty and messy and couldn’t understand why they didn’t make an effort to keep it cleaner. Just the thought of visiting them made her feel uncomfortable. When we talked about it, she realized that she was making herself upset by expecting them to be in a certain way and imposing her idea of how clean a house should be onto them.
Suddenly I feel a funny sensation emerging from deep down in my belly. It’s not a frequent visitor, but I have heard people talk about it. I even listened to a powerful TED talk about it. It’s called shame…and it is arising right now while I am in a packed theatre in the centre of Singapore. I am attending an evening event on ‘mindfulness’ with big names like Dan Siegel, Trudy Goodman and Jack Kornfield.
With a hesitant smile, I just voluntarily signed a document to commit myself to 10 days of around 10 hours of silent sitting meditation a day. No talking, no phone, no writing, no reading, no eye contact or other distractions. As the teacher SN Goenka calls it: It’s time to tame the ‘wild elephant’ that we call the mind….